The Morning Jog (Pt.1 of 2)

The smooth light of early morning filled the bedroom as Xavier inched his way around the tiny confines of the area - something he’d gotten rather good at by now - trying hard not to make a sound. The sun was still only a sliver on the horizon, bleaching the landscape a hazy pink that shifted in and out of shadow as lazy clouds grazed overhead. If it weren’t for the loud but gentle rumble of Xavier’s breathing, only the occasional bird chirp disturbed the silence.

He’d been sure not to cause too much rippling of the bed when he got up, which was now a bit easier thanks to investment in a memory foam mattress that could retain his substantial outline without leaving a pit for Ilene to tumble into. As he pulled his running shorts on in the bathroom he heard her sigh happily in her sleep, a sure sign she was dreaming. Even when he had just moved in and they were still struggling to pretend a twin was enough room for the both of them, Ilene always feel asleep within seconds - something Xavier was always a little jealous of. Despite loving naps as much as the next fellow, his size made it harder to do comfortably anywhere but home.

Lacing his sneakers up with familiar technique, it dawned on Xavier that he could reach his feet without needing a second wind. When he first told Ilene he planned on going for a run every morning to try and increase his endurance, she was supportive but skeptical - a usual look for her. Not that Xavier minded - her realistic perspective was often a good counterbalance for his tendency to idealize. But quite frankly, he was skeptical himself. It wasn’t the sort of thing 2010 Xavier would have said. Or even thought, probably. But things had been changing since Ilene came along; for the both of them.

After returning from the lodge where they spent their first few weeks together, Xavier became a regular patron at the cafe Ilene was working at the time, and before long the two of them were settling in at the others place of residence - for Xavier a small studio, for Ilene the top floor of a house. It was a little like coming back from vacation - would things be as lovely as they were in the seclusion of the forest? It was clear that they would not give up on each other - that’s what love is, after all - but the real world was filled with people unlike either of them.

When he finally returned from his stroll, Xavier gave the still sleeping Ilene a quick kiss on the forehead, making her stir as she rolled to greet him, sleep still in her eyes.

“Good jog, babe?”

she said softly, making room on the bed for him to climb over and onto her small body. Wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling all his mass closer to her, Ilene couldn’t remember what not being woken up by her large partner was like. Each morning when he returned from his workout she would be in a slightly different position and, more often than not, smiling in her sleep. The scent of his shampoo - he washed his hair as well as his mustache daily - was always enough to color her half dreams with images of him. Once he returned often he would do what he was doing now - crawl back into bed and fall asleep himself for a while as she took her turn getting up.

The apartment had been cramped even before Ilene moved in, but for some reason she never minded these days. More than one of her kitchen chairs was now in a broken pile out back with similar ones - the casualties of Xavier’s general weight and his tendency to underestimate his butt. Ilene, of course, made sure to remind him of just how large and lovely it is every chance she got. The shade of pink his cheeks would flush was like the reflection of a sunset...just being around him made her lyrical.

January had been fired after being caught in her own web of lies - it turned out she had been abusing more than just Xavier, but more heinously was found stealing from guests. It felt like another lifetime now...they were still the same people, but it was wrong to say not much had changed.

The kitchen in their apartment was the size of a closet, with a tiny fridge, an oven that looked like a toy, a sink and dishwasher and cupboards. Despite this, it did feature a sizable window with a ledge for placing plants - Ilene had Basil and several small sproutlings in a random order that somehow captured her personality. She loved to spend time here, simply because she had made it her own, and Xavier had all but told her to do whatever she saw fit with it. He would venture in to grab a drink or something from the fridge, but there was only about an inch or two of space between him and the appliances.

The saucepan was already perched on top of one of two burners that still worked, and despite the hour still being rather early, Ilene hummed as she extracted from the small icebox several eggs, a carton of spinach, and some special English dressing that was Xavier’s favorite. She had breakfast down to a science now. It was hard to believe she could barely make toast without hurting herself before Xavier. He had taught her just about everything he knew, and while much of it went over her head she forgot little.

The real world was a nice change from the seclusion of the lodge, but it was a bittersweet transition. When they went out together people would laugh and point at Xavier often mercilessly. It wasn’t always, and it wasn’t everywhere, but usually someone would give him a dirty look, go from chatty to silent as he walked by, or whisper urgently to their neighbor, eyes as wide as saucers. The red he turned when he felt embarrassed was different than when he was pleased - it was more of a harsh color. Ilene hated seeing it.

But he had changed a lot in that respect too. Ilene could still recall the first time she saw her large, gentle partner finally give back some of the sass he was so used to getting.

A fellow diner, a bony woman at the next table, scoffed when Xavier took a seat, making the black lacquer chair squeak loudly. “I suggest one of the lighter fares. You look like you could stand to lose a few.” Without missing a beat, and while smothering a roll in butter he shot back -

“Thank you. On the subject of dining, I invite you to eat me.”


          * * *

A loud but tiny crackle erupted from the pan, bubbles of water bursting in a small chorus. Ilene cracked another egg on the side of the pan - using perfect technique, she couldn’t not notice - and after situating them moved on to chopping up vegetables and fruit. For a man who weighed more than 400 pounds, Xavier was adamant about getting his daily vitamins. “I may be big, but I’m picky.”

The soft sound of Xavier’s gentle breath - like a large bumblebee almost - came drifting towards Ilene as she pared an avocado. He had been working out and jogging every day at this point, and it was showing. His arms, though still flabby, had a meaty layer of thick muscle now visible even beneath the fat. His shoulders had always been wide but now that they were becoming defined Ilene found herself offering him shoulder massages every chance she got. He was the same Xavier she fell in love with, and yet she never could have imagined he would be all the things he was now. She couldn’t believe she got to have that man for her husband. She didn’t know luck like that existed.

“Sleep well, my Big Bear. Breakfast will be ready soon.”